Monday, November 16, 2009

I'm happy I wrote about 300 words for my dissertation.
Though I guess it's high time I should :)

But WHEEEE~ anyhow

Thursday, November 12, 2009

I dreamt last night

That I was travelling with Huiyan and Shunling and Nic and Rui :)
As though Huiyan was still in the UK doing exchange
And Shunling wasn't in China
And Rui wasn't in the US already

Time flies~

Thursday, October 22, 2009

xinyi hates winter
cos no one looks good in winter clothes.

no one!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

i know what i should like to do :)

reading an article about the anachronism of the nation-state, and distracted by thoughts of the Foundation series by Asimov. i feel like i should like to write a science-fiction story, exploring the possibility of alternative modes of human organisation.
i feel nerdy.

Monday, August 31, 2009

the whole city seems to have quietened down.

from the library windows and the deathly silence, the grey clouds loom over the entire city, as far as i can see.
walking past george square, the hullabaloo has died down, all that is left are a few quiet old shacks, halfway dismantled.
arthur's seat is for once empty of tourists.

and maybe on royal mile, the performers are packing up.
everyone is going home.
after all, the festival is over.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

the military tattoo

as we surged into the area before the castle, searching for our seats, a small band of about ten smartly dressed men entertained - the police band? as we passed by one of the exits which they were standing near to, it suddenly struck me that i'm 'up close and personal' to one of the biggest international performance in the world :) the performers felt so close i felt like i could just run out and touch them (before getting arrested and dragged away by the security people HAHA). i didn't of course x.x


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

omg. i haven't been blogging. what if... what if i forget... this exhilarating week!

saturday. the world-famous edinburgh military tattoo. the excitement is amazing. just cos it's a world-famous thing and cos i'm attending it (i know i'm a bimbo x.x) and to be honest, i didn't know much about it (though i've seen pictures of bagpipe bands and stuff and i've seen the stands when i visited the castle after the event x.x)

firstly the queue. royal mile has been really crowded these days, but this is unbelievable. a boy shuffling behind me mutters: mom, i've heard of a traffic jam, but this? humans? if there were a step in front of me, i doubt i'd have seen it. not to mention i was juggling my bag, my subway sandwiches in one hand and the subway cookies in the other and considering whether to take my camera out and capture the magnificent queue.

we saw the entrance to the castle but the guy 'strangely' directed us to the left, and just as we were wondering, we saw the queue that wound down shandwick terrace (it's a bloody long terrace in case u were wondering) and so we joined the queue, subway in the mouth looking spectacularly unglam, and the rest of the 'early' people in the queue ogling at you as if you were some exhibit.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

somehow it doesn't feel exciting anymore.

just walking around a few venues today. the pleasance and the udderbelly (which is a cute upside down purple cow) which are actually quite a few venues in themselves. pleasance courtyard, pleasance cabaret bar, udderbelly pastures, udderbelly hullaballoo.. went to the gilded balloon. for all its hype about being THE place for comedy.. it still looks like boring old teviot! gilded balloon? maybe not. the name conjures fantasy of silver trimmings and floating dreams.. but it's just boring old teviot plus a banner x.x

maybe it's cos we didn't go for a show today, so it was just rather aimless.

there was a massive downpour at around six? my umbrella was tortured by the wind and my clothes were totally soaked through. but it was exciting running in the rain, trying not to get wet perhaps? i don't know why. the pellets of icy cold rain hitting you. high heels clicking on cobbled stones. running madly and looking fabulously unglamorous in that glamourous satin skirt. still holding the umbrella though it doesn't seem to work. the moment i got home, i changed to something dry, and as i stepped out of my bedroom again, the sun was up and shining and it seemed like it never rained after all x.x

scottish weather.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

boys from brazil (+a girl)

are SO hot.

vibrant, energetic, intense. it's like watching aggressive ballet dancers. i can't describe it. graceful and yet strong. exciting and yet slow. you've got to watch it.
capoeira is amazing.

feel like picking it up someday. i won't mind a bit of salsa too.

and to top it all off, this spectacular showcase of sweaty, muscular male bodies takes place in St George West's Church. Behind the stereos lay the pipe organs. Above the stage throbbing with flashing lights lay the ornate carvings of cherubs and flowers. As we all sit where the congregation would, we clapped our hands wildly and bobbed to the rhythmic music, celebrating this wonderful display from

the boys from brazil


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

the banana sessions @ the pink bus

jazz? blues?
a flute, a tuba, a guitar, bongo drums and a singer with a tambourine + steve the monkey.
the bus sways in rhythm to the stamping of the feet, the clapping of hands and the fervour of the songs. humorous, witty songs narrated by an enigmatic voice. the tuba bell hits the little teddy bear dangling above every so often. the flautist with his soft ginger hair and black plastic glasses. the guitarist with a beard and moustache and sideburns. the singer. the singer with white-blonde hair in a black tank top with a black skirt with roses, wearing a black beaded necklace. the drummer who hides in a corner and faces the walls as if playing to them. the little decorations in the bus sways precariously

(outside, some drunkards yell something unintelligible)

i bought their CD - a keepsake that might tug back memories of the guitarist's earnest smile, or the tuba player's sturdy beat, something more than the still image of a photograph with the flautist missing.

the pink bus.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Umm.. Can someone tell me why it's 'wet in the North, sunny in the South'? Or why it's so cold in Edinburgh and so warm in London?

Monday, August 17, 2009

tourists overflowing, spilling over royal mile, trickling into back alleys

a taster concert at the urban garden. stairs that wind down from Adam House. 'through a door and down the stairs again, then through the maze'. a hastily set up temporary maze of metal fences barely concealed by green drapery - an urban garden. paths strewn with rough stones that end in abrupt dead-ends, till one comes out into the centre and a group of girls in pink bob to the music, singing their hearts out for the little kids in their prams, the little girl in a pink dress running around, for the next band waiting in line for their performance - the trombonist nervously checking his slide, for the elderly couple in front of us, and the Asian couple that just walked through the maze.

Hull's Swing Band came up next. two trumpeters, a young uncomfortable guy and an old seasoned man; two trombonists, one hidden behind the showy saxes and the other heartily addressing the crowd; two saxophonists, the tenor driving the music on and the alto doggedly follows on and the single drummer. through the music stands, one could read 'jazz classics for swing ensembles'. they don't smile, except the trombonist who addressed the crowd and the tenor sax who tried so hard to cheer the alto up. the quality of the music is stunning for this motley crew - the piercing clarity of the top notes from the gold trumpet and the careless flair in that saxophone vibrato. but they couldn't get the crowd jumping or swaying or dancing along. it wasn't easy to get into the mood.

the pink bus. next to the urban garden. an artistic project towed 400 miles from Reading, West of London, constructed by two (now anonymous) final year Art students who collected brics and bracs from random shops to decorate 'the pink bus'. one boards the bus through the steps covered with CDs, grabs on to the railings carefully wrapped up in ancient scores, peers through the windows all covered up with thematic displays. one full of glass bottles, one full of cuddly soft toys. the front seats are smothered with pink cushions with girly touches hanging from above, enveloped by posters of loving couples with mushy slogans. across, one sees a sturdy fireplace, whose mantelpiece is covered with pamphlets and leaflets and notes. up the stairs we go, noting the gramaphone records plastering the walls, into yet another area. on top of our heads, red christmas decorations dangle happily. far off at the back of the bus lies half a mattress, covered with pink sheets, pink cushions and a giant smiling teddy bear. at the bed post, there's a sign that says 'look above and laugh'. if one lies on the bed and look. one sees mirrors of all sorts, and your curious reflection peering back at you. laughs? yet another patch of the ceiling is covered with extravagant lamps of all sorts. some oriental, some victorian, none familiar.

we're going back to the pink bus.

a stroll along the congested royal mile. one sees little stages perhaps 2m by 1m, framed by a shoddy curtain, housing earnest actors acting out snippets of their plays, performers, singers in kilts. at every other corner, one sees the usual street stunt performers, the clowns, juggling knives and fire torches, swallowing swords, balancing precariously on high ladders or wobbly platforms and saying the most ridiculous things to tease a laugh from the audience. out comes the hat, in goes the money and the crowd disperses.

i don't think words (or hastily taken photos) can do justice to the sights and sounds that assaulted me during that 3? hours i spent out in the city i've been walking around for the past 3 years. i wish everyone could see this.
dragging my luggage across the cobbled stones

there was a man in a black suit with a top hat perched upon a bicycle seat playing on his piano balanced atop bicycle wheels. i don't know what you call it - a portable piano concert? there he was, in the breezy (so the pilot said as we got off the plane) chilly Edinburgh summer, playing like a maestro, except his concert hall was the noisy school grounds, and his audience, whoever cared to stop and listen.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

just thought it might be helpful to translate the 'scots' poem i put up last week?week before that? anyway, here's my best attempt -

I've surely had a good week out in Singapore,
And seen some things I'd never seen at home in Scunnerlaw(Scotland?!!)
If you care for piano works, (be chooser or be beggar),
You'll never hear them better played than by Joanna MacGregor
The next night I was so jet-lagged I thought that I might faint
Instead I saw a Latvian play, that was just like drying paint.
"The Cherry Orchard" next I seen, and it was awfully grand,
It had been directed by famous Lin Zhaohua
The final sight that thrilled my eyes was World Famous's "Crackers",
But then I had to go and sleep, for by then I was tired
The venues for the festival, down by the waterfront
I'd have to ssay, with hand on heart, that they were brilliant.
So now I'm home, with sights and sounds amongst the best seen yet
And all my friends can say to me is "(either) Who got lucky? (or) What's your problem you little bugger" (i'm sorry i'm really bad at this x.x)
I didn't care, it's been a time I'll mind for everymore,
I'll always treasure memories of bonnie (:D) Singapore
frivolous thoughts.

omg it's 22 degrees in Edin. it's finally warm. and i'll finally get to enjoy it. blissss~

brought cheki clothes-shopping today. was a little embarrassing trying to fit her in, especially since half the clothes didn't fit, but i got used to estimating towards the end. before realising... i actually have clothes that fit cheki at home. so we didn't buy anything. poor cheki. though i think i ought to get something spongy to protect her.

i love cheki <3

felt like an aunty today. wearing shirts and shorts. carrying 2 big bags of shoes with my big bag full of shopping cos i didn't want to get more plastic bags - sometimes the shopkeeper pack your stuff so naturally, so hastily that they get annoyed that you want to give them back their plastic bags - and walking over to HANG TEN (yea i know) and buying 3for$10 tops. i had ugly hair, hastily done up in a pony tail in an attempt to tame it. i was wearing specs. no make-up. totally unappealing. and tzes suddenly msged: xin is so sexy *grinss* if only she knew.

saw a cute notebook today. it's titled 'little princess' in chinese. and it's full of drawings. in place of the blank pages after pages, there were cute drawings and little messages on every page - didn't really look closely enough but i believe every page is quite different. isn't it exciting? wouldn't u want to get to the end of the book asap so u can read and see everything :) was half-tempted to get it. it was at popular strange enough. popular. where you buy boring but cheap stationery. it was kinda like an 'artbox' thing yes about half the price. but i wouldn't know what to write in it. and i think what i really wanted wasn't the book, but to design something like that =D

REALLY irrelevantly, while i was walking around popular (looking for paper x.x) i was just thinking: there are architects (for the exterior of buildings); there are civil engineers (for the structure of buildings); there are interior designers (for the interior of buildings); i kind of want to be an office-desk-designer. i can like totally imagine myself owning an office desk - cosy corner- in STB and refurbishing it every so often and offering to help others create their personalised office desk. who knows? having a personalised office desk may inspire creativity and improve productivity. maybe we can have like office-desk-design competitions. HAHAHAHAHA!

ok sorry. very off today~
but i had a good time shopping by myself.

though i would like some opinions on what clothes to get for cheki :(
poor cheki is in a weird green adidas thing that hangs weirdly. yea it's weird.

(i did many things)

i saw an old man playing the dizi at the underpass from the MRT to AMK Hub. it's quite a common sight/sound except he was playing classical music. and i don't mean Chinese Orchestra classical; i mean Symphonic Orchestra classical. it was amazing. i recognized the piece immediately, though I couldn't remember who it was by - Wagner? Rachmaninoff? it was something dramatic and intensely familiar, threatening to bring back fierce memories of the Esplanade. and it was just an old man, playing his dizi, at the underpass. i was going to ask him where he learnt it, if he knew what he was playing, or just put some money in his tin can... but i was swept away by the surging post-office-hours crowd.

on my way back home, i was thinking: maybe it's kinda symbolic (or maybe i'm being over-sensitive). i was thinking about what nic said to me that night at dempsey. when i thoughtlessly lamented how much i've missed playing the clarinet, how much i've missed performing, and he sort of reminded me that it's not impossible to. and it just struck me. i have just been comfortably, and maybe a little wistfully been swept along by the tide of life, never thinking of resisting...

it would have been easy to cut across the crowd and talk to the old man.

i can't let that passion die.

Monday, July 20, 2009

was checking our the edinburgh festival cos i'm FINALLY going to attend this year, and found this blog entry by someone who's been for the SINGAPORE ARTS FESTIVAL.

Ah’ve shairly had a bonnie week oot in Singapore,
An’ seen some things ah’d nivver see at hame in Scunnerlaw
If ye care for pianney wurks, be chooser or be beggar,
Ye’ll nivver hear them better pliyed than by Joanna MacGregor
The next nicht ah wis sae jet-lagged ah thocht that ah micht faint
Insteed ah saw a Latvian play, t’wis jist like dryin’ paint.
“The Cherry Orchard” nixt ah seen, an’ it wis awfy braw,
It had been directit by famous Lin Zhaohua
The final sicht that thrilled ma een wis Warld Famous’s “Crackers”,
But then ah hud tae go an kip, fir by then ah wis knackered
The venues fer the festival, doon by the waterfront
Ah’d huv tae say, wi’ haun on hairt, that they were brillyunt.
Sae noo ah’m hame, wi’ sichts and sounds amangst the best seen yet
An’ a’ ma freens can say tae me is “Wha’s a jammy get?”
Ah dinnae care, it’s been a time ah’ll mind fer evermore,
Ah’ll ayewis treasure memories o’ bonnie Singapore

(Taken from the 22/6/2009 entry at

Thursday, July 16, 2009

there's only one thing in my mind.

limelight.raffles (institution x.x) junior college band.not that they were particularly good, rather, the reverse.esplanade.clarinets. the lights. the uniform. mr oura in black suit black bowtie. then mr oura in white suit maroon bowtie.

almost like looking at myself in the past. wondering if anyone in the audience was like us. pointing out how brian's junior looked very red in the face. how the soloist's instrument looks unpolished and unoiled. how the alto sax guy has an annoyingly arrogant face. or the chimes girl has a run in her stockings. or how the weird looking perc guy play the piano shockingly well.

the same uniform. the blazer, the white shirt the black office skirt. strange how the juniors were all wearing stiletto heels when we wore court shoes. strange how i always felt like i looked really smart in the uniform when the juniors look so.. small-insignificant. the uniform isn't much after all.

but seeing mr oura talk to the band, and how the front row clars smiled at his encouragement as he prepares to cue them in reminds me of all the times before a piece when he would say something or make a funny face, the times when i felt really inspired, when the band breathed together as one, or when u sit back during a long rest and listen to the band, or whn your section conquers a particularly tricky part. everything everything makes me want to play again.


i think i'll be disappointed at my sound.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

i forgot why i wanted to post!

*thinks hard...*


but the only thing in my mind now is.. i should stop doing this --> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. the evil laughter thing. seems like i find everything hilarious.

was reading 'the hours' and was reminded of the 'article' rui showed me at botanical gardens a few saturdays ago. those were the days :) i hate being old and having responsibilities and thinking about the mundane boredom of life.

okay whatever. back to research.

Monday, July 06, 2009

What do you do when you're back in Singapore?

ok i'm trying to write a blog entry cos i'm irritated and i can't get to sleep and i went online to do something constructive and because i've been thinking about meeting up with people and doing things and wondering what to do back in Singapore and knowing there isn't much time if i just let the days pass by but i'm lazy and i can't be bothered to think or to go online to find out if people are free because i don't have their handphone numbers - so.

the end.

Sunday, May 17, 2009


Performer: Alexander Rybak
Song writer(s): Alexander Rybak
Song composer(s): Alexander Rybak

Years ago when I was younger
I kinda’ liked a girl I knew.
She was mine, and we were sweethearts,
That was then, but then it’s true

I’m in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
‘Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind;
I’m already cursed

Every day we started fighting,
Every night we fell in love.
No one else could make me sadder,
But no one else could lift me high above

I don’t know what I was doing
But suddenly we fell apart.
Nowadays I cannot find her.
But when I do we’ll get a brand new start

I’m in love with a fairytale
Even though it hurts.
Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind;
I’m already cursed

She’s a fairytale Yeah
Even though it hurts.
Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind;
I’m already cursed

Being not-very-intellectually swept off my feet by a cute Norwegian boy born in Belarus, who broke the record of the highest votes in the Eurovision song contest. CLassically trained in both the piano and the violin (since his parents are a famous pianist and a famous violinist respectively), he played the 'Fiddler' in the Oslo Nye Teater's version of Fiddler on the Roof in 2007. He is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo sweeet <3

Maybe it's just the song - it's like every girl's dream to hear such a charming boy sing that to you~ And fairytale... you get what I mean. He is so adorable :D and he played so hard he broke the strings on his bow (unless I was mistaken and that was actually decorative strings -.-) And he gave this random girl a kiss while walking out for his encore... what a lucky girl! ahhhh~

Monday, May 11, 2009


long ago, someone (sarah?) told me there was this taiwanese drama called 'fated to love you' whose main character is called chen xinyi (YES i know) and even the chinese characters are EXACTLY the same as mine.

freakily, (out of boredom)i went to check out the actress (in case she's pretty) and she's the main character on 'Frog Turned Prince' (qing wa bian wang zi) whom I always thought was uglier than the 'slut-of-the-show' - in fact, i've always wanted the prince to get together with the other girl just cos she's prettier (i know, don't say anything). AND THE FREAKIEST THING OF ALL? the actress (who acted the character with the exact same name as mine) has the SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME!!!!! ffs. talk about coincidence. i mean i'm not exactly 164cm, not 47kg (actually i might just be 47kg lol)

and did i mention - the character is (quoting dramawiki) 'a really unfashionable working class girl' - thanks very much! now i know where all this unfashionable vibes are coming from~ maybe an acquaintance who always thought i was unfashionable wrote that show - maybe -.-
I have a dumb-blonde blog.

You know, when I read some of my friends' blogs, I'm like 'wow they are so intellectual'. They discuss current affairs, make ironic comments on the world economy, challenge the status quo and discuss potentials.

I suppose I could do that - in my essays/ exams. But - and the big but - I need somewhere to talk about myself :D Selfish old me, I know. I mean, current affairs intrigue me only in the context of my academic work but as a girl, I don't care? xD Don't get me wrong, I do love doing politics and writing essays about the crux of the Asian Financial Crisis and the failure of democratic peace theory -.- But the girl in me lives a separate life - of shopping, of romantic movies, of fashion, of sunny beaches and bikinis, of baking sweets, of creating birthday cards, of making music :) But the woman in me analyse the world critically, laugh at the welfare system cynically, view charity work sceptically and ponder over world affairs. The woman in me tuts at the silly models on 'S Factor' while the girl in me yearns to be there with them -.-

Life is a dialectic, a pendulum swaying endlessly between 2 extremes. Some may find the equilibrium in the end, but others... keep on vacillating.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

whee~ walked out of my house for the first time in uh.. 2 weeks?!
it's cold alright - but i guess warmer than winter - but not exactly summer material, i don't think.

after looking at all the beautiful pics of people on facebook or whatever, i feel quite ugly sitting at home in my pjs, with my hair all messed up, and my eyebags sagging - and all my photos look so drab. and feeling really fat, cos all i do is eat (alot) and sit down and stare at my lappie xD

but going out made me feel so much better - some fresh air in my system, hair neatly done up, (a little make-up :P), my lovely boots, white jeans, without my fat ugly coat, but just a scarf to spice up my sweater - i don't look TOO bad :D maybe it's cos i saw some 'ugly' photos of celebs on The Mirror today xD and it made me feel better - like no one can look good ALL the time, can they?? after all, who (but me) posts ugly photos on their facebook - clearly only their best-looking and sexy and (photo-shoppedddd - bordering on self-delusion now, aren't i)photos go online.

i want a shopping bud. anyone?
my exams start on 12th may - it's going to be realism in IR first - which might well be my weakest subject - ah well get the worst over and done with - speaking of which, i haven't actually gone to collect my RIR essay, like I don't know where to? and now that the collection date is over, I don't know HOW to -.- Don't really care *shrugs*

then it's going to be 13th may - approaches to politics and IR.. the boring one, and the kind i screwed up in year 2 (a bit like a mix of SPE and SPT)about methodology, about ontology, epistemology and so on - basically, you don't study anything in particular, just a really broad perspective though i do think the way the lectures were conducted were much better - just cos it connects, and the essay went alright - i mean i would totally love a 1st class, but i'm happy with the 2.1 *shrugs*

and then my last is on 20th may - so 1 week after the rest and i TOTALLY haven't touched it, i'm leaving it for that week -.- might be a bad idea especially since kenny will be done by then, and i'll feel like slacking :( (haven't gone shopping for agess - wanna buy pretty pretty clothes - have a burning desire to doll myself up) but it's Political Economy of East Asia which is like my best subject -.- cos it deals with reality (i mean, you would think realism in IR deals with reality but FAR from it) and i see things happening and i understand them. all that fluffy talk gets me - i am clearly not a political theorist xD

i would - if possible - try to do a dissertation on tourism but i think it's kinda difficult - international relations plus tourism = ?! needs some imagination, plus i haven't particularly read ANYTHING remotely about tourism in my 3 years doing IR. makes u think, doesn't it? not like my dissertation is gonna help in my future career or anything...

in fact, i think watching 'the apprentice' helps more~
so watch out for this column.. cos i think i'll do a 'Apprentice's guide to doing Business' lol.

i'm really jealous of kate.
i wish i were blonde and pretty :(

Thursday, May 07, 2009

When did boys come into our lives?

It suddenly struck me as I looked at the facebook photos, as the girls-dominated photos get replaced gradually by the boys-dominated ones.

Why did they become so important?

That not a single conversation goes by without mentioning at least one of them, that every consideration has to take care of their interests, that what they think actually matters.

Girl power, anyone? Anyone at all?

Friday, May 01, 2009

“Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title" Virginia Woolf
well that was long ago.
the essay's back but i don't know where to collect it from.. so erm, well!

i look at people's photos, i watch the telly (oh my beloved telly) and i think - i ought to dress better - i do. i ought to wear pretty dresses, and keep up with the fashion with high-waisted skirts and lovely trenches, and flashy belts, and chunky necklaces, way-too-high heels and everything.

but i don't want to throw away all the clothes i've bought in the past years though they'll never match the image i want to be. dress like you want to be, not dress like yourself - says a certain telly show. and you know what, i think i might jsut start doing that.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

i just need a place to vent.
I feel so helpless. Struggling with Realism.
Writing a 2000 word essay - but feeling like if I should include everything I think should be included, it'll go up to 4000.
Remembering the times he said 'Answer the question' and wondering if I had according to his criteria, recalling the times he said 'You'll get an epiphany' and wondering why I hadn't and what I'm doing all wrong.

I need my epiphany NOW.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

you know, someday, i should sit down and write about what i miss about singapore xD

right now, i miss the feeling of the sun on my shoulders and in my hair. i miss the smell of fresh grass and rain during thunderstorms. i miss taking cold showers and not shivering when i step out. i miss the warmth and i miss summer clothes. i can wear shorts or skirts or three-quarters or jeans - and not have to worry about the weather or if i can stand wearing this little when i go shopping. i don't have to stroll along the streets, seeing grey coats, olive-green coats, black coats - and staring at my own dull coat - every single day - the same look. i don't have to battle with blustery winds trying to obscure my view with my very messy hair.

and i don't have to think about how i'll soon leave all this behind - for good.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

this barrage of posts just means i have work to do.
it comes in waves - the posts- when i'm forced to do readings, that's what i end up doing.

that's what i liked about math or science, cos i could always sit down and work out stuff, and every answer i get, is like one question nearer to the end. readings? the more u do, the more you have to read to understand... you'll never understand the whole picture. there's always a selection bias. i hand in every essay, wondering and wondering if i did well. science? it's right... or wrong xD somehow i don't want my essays to be just 'right' but also 'mature' or 'insightful'. something more...

that's what i liked about studying japanese, cos i could sit down and plow through the grammar, (and admire my handwriting -.- and trying to see how i could refine it) or translation is fun too. omg don't tell my class that - they'll hate me. finding the exact word that fits the context, feeling how the various words mesh together to form a coherent story. basking in the satisfaction that you've produced a meaningful concept out of unintelligible words :D

well.. better get down to wondering what the end of the cold war meant for neo/realism.

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's Friday the 13th.

May not mean much to most but it brings back memories :)
I miss you, nic and rui :(
But now, we've all grown up.

Well, anyway, I just want to say I felt really unlucky today. Beginning from 12am last night, when I felt miserable about my essay and realised that I needed to get this core text which is £30 (second hand with scribblings on the margin and the edges cut off or something) JUST for the essay. So, despite the readings that i've done already, and the 4 heavy books i checked out, i decided to change topic. Slept at 3am.

Woke up at 8, then 8.30, then 8.40am and forced myself out of bed to do readings for tutorials today. hastily read and then left for class. in class, we're supposed to analyse this speech, and i got it all wrong (i bet the guy i analysed the text with HATES me) and then in my next class, while we were having discussions, the window smashed down and broke. it was like really dramatic -.- windows here, by the way, open upwards. So it came crashing down and the impact shattered the glass. No one was near, but hey, these things don't happen everyday.

So i went shopping for a present for Bridie cos it's her birthday tomorrow. and after dumping all the things on the counter and watching her scan them, i realised i have NO wallet -.- ok so while preoccupied with all these things on my mind, i walked out onto the road and nearly got hit by a truck -.- embarrasssing. so i came home, and napped until now. i will start on my essay. i will.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

i've been into fashion lately.
well, not exactly.

more like i've realised i need to dress better! i feel like such a dweeeeb. it's hannah's fault xD hannah is this really cool fashion blogger, and she also happens to be in all my tutorials last year. and as expected, she dresses really fashionably every single day. i mean, i have days when i 'get it right', but usually it's just top-denimskirt and go. maybe it's cos i have a very unfashionable coat (which i have to wear everyday) or maybe it's cos i have very plain clothes and i don't dare to try new things like high-waisted skirt. hannah makes high-waisted skirts look so natural and classy. and me? i bet i'll just look fat. speaking of which, i'm getting fat! like FAT-FAT! cos i haven't been doing any exercise, i.e. i haven't gotten out of my couch, except to get into my bed and sleep. lol. maybe it's cos i need an exciting pair of boots. and a major wardrobe overhaul.

ahhh. i want new clothes xD

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

bneo's a tv star xD
i was err watching this japanese drama after finishing one essay (and before i start on the next) and the main character reminds me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much of bneo. who would have thought bneo would become a hot japanese guy xD
[disclaimer: i'm not crazy over bneo. ]

basically, the drama's called 'tantei gakuen Q' which means umm detective school Q o_O i don't get the Q part cos it doesn't feature in the show at all. omg. it does. ok.. basically bneo's charater is called kyuu - you know, Q/ kyuu - hahaha! i just realised lol. and like he's this really sweet, happy-go-lucky and smart guy. but i like the other guy better - ryuu. ryuu is like really smart, very cool kinda guy and a little mysterious o_O but he's cute. omg. but i bet they're like 12 or something, they look freaking young. the girl is really chio. i'm so jealous. to look so chio without like much make-up on tv is not an easy thing to do, i should imagine. she must be gorgeous when she grows up. the mysteries are a bit.. err obvious.. shall i say? haha! well, and not particularly realistic either because of this strange hypnotist guy (who is related to ryuuuu xD)

ok. i'm not crazy over bneo. i must repeat xD
err i'm more interested in ummm hans j. morgantheau... :(

ok i shall start on my next essay *gulps*

PS pleaseee someone, go watch at least the first part of the show and tell me if u think kyuu looks like bneo toooo!!! aH.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

maybe i should do my dissertation on the policy of non-intervention in ASEAN xD
it's been a long time.
since the piano played...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

hey i'm back. i took photos of the chocolate truffles i made last night xD
but i'm lazy to upload now xD and i'm lazy to sort through my christmas photos too
i feel inspired to make more truffles - they seem kinda successful :P though doing the chocolate shell was a bit messier than i thought it would be.

xin has become more egoistic over the months xD
i was looking at my very first few posts (firstly i didn't really remember any of those things happening - how come i managed to do so many things but i don't remember) and i realize that when i first started writing a blog, i didn't use 'i'. it was just xin this and xin that and she did this and she did that. lol. suddenly i feel older.

xin thinks she revives her blog during essays/exam times cos that's the time she feels the loneliest.. sitting by herself in front of her laptop, reading, editing and typing, the clicking of the keys on the keyboard fills the silent room :( occassionally the sound of a car engine zooms past, or the sound of happy chattering walks by, and just some times, a little sunlight filter through, illuminating the room for a while... but otherwise, it's just so quiet and dim in here. maybe no one reads the blog anymore, but it somehow feels like i'm talking to someone, maybe someone in the future who suddenly wondered how xin is doing and decided to peruse her blog entries... maybe to myself when i'm 30 years old and wondering what i used to do..

from my window, i see the chimney of the next block - the sun is filtering through the blinds now, casting shadows of the books i lined on the window sill.. the light is reflecting off the pots and pans that i left sitting on the hob because i'm too lazy to keep them in the cupboard. the light never reaches the sofa where i'm sitting. but it's warm here, because the heater is right behind me.

i think i will go to the gym and run for the first time in like a month o_O and then come back and type a boring essay on rational choice theory! byee..
Tada - as usual I'm back only when I'm busy
So I have 2 essays due in less than 2.5 weeks o_O and another 2 weeks later xD
But I just spent the whole day, making chocolate truffles - which taste kinda decent :D

So I was sorting out some photos.. and I was thinking, I SHOULD so start a culinary blog xD cos I like to try new recipes - even if they sometimes fail ugh. Mainly cos I can't really be bothered to follow recipes closely or convert properly when they use things like oz or lb or 1 cup - i mean how big a cup am I supposed to use o_O (pretending I'm not aware of measuring cupss...) Well, anyway, here are some things I cooked (judging from the dates on the photo, sometime between the Dundee trip and like err Christmas xD)

This is Sambal Fried Rice with a Sunny Side Up :P i.e. Nasi Goreng

This is a healthy Pan-grilled Salmon with Brocolli and Potatos on the Side

This is Sambal Noodles with Spicy Homemade Meatballs xD

This is Penne in a Spicy TOmato Sauce (which has Mayo, Tabasco, Paprika...)

THis is ummm Chinese Noodles with Chicken in Black Sauce - man I suck at naming things

ROast Chicken-Pretending-TO-Be-TUrkey with Sage and Onion Stuffing xD Okay, I cheat cos this is the Christmas dinner Rui, Nic and I prepared

THis is Steamed Fish with TOmato and Mushroom and Ginger - which my Mom always makes and which I love to eat xD

This is Yummy Yummy Laksa - which um is actually cheating, cos it's Prima Paste o_O and this is like the only thing I didn't cook from scratch. Erps.

I have been cooking recently - but mostly now quite as exciting... Just pasta, or Papa John's pizza (they're having some promotion right now) I cook very delicious pork with apple sauce too!

Sometimes I watch food-shows. Like MasterChef.. and I wish... I wish I could cook like them :D