Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Just finished up some work and feeling kinda lazy to sleep...

What's on my mind now?
1. It's nice to be up alone on a rainy night. I never get this kind of peaceful times anymore. Not since a long time ago in Edinburgh with my Sushi takeaway in my cold cold room. Just me and my duvet.

2. I want to do something. It could be an exercise thing - going for yoga classes or dance classes (I think I'd like the idea of a dance class though I can't really dance) or kickboxing or whatever. But I don't think I'll be very motivated. Or it could be a learning thing - like learning Bahasa or Italian. If it's useful enough, I might push myself to do it. Or it could be a happy music thing - I want to go get me some scores and start building my dreams of being a freelance pianist. I'm not a great pianist but maybe if I master enough cheesy music, people might pay me a little to play that odd piece. What a wonderful thing it would be. Maybe it's not the cash that entices me. Maybe it's the feeling of being able to perform again. I'm not sure. It would be lovely if I could retire and live on playing the piano. I wouldn't mind playing the same pieces over and over again. Because I know for me, everytime I play... it's a different piece. Maybe I should get a new piano...

3. Old and boring. You leave the fun school no-responsibility life. And things happen throughout your life, the experiences add up, they scare you, they make you wary, and you become a cautious boring person, so afraid of doing things wrong you don't do anything at all. I feel that I'm becoming a boring person. Feel like you're not at liberty to do embarrassing things anymore. Feel like 'youth' is no longer an excuse for doing stupid things. Feel like the whole world is judging... because you're a responsible working adult now.

Wow. So much on my mind. No wonder I'm still awake.

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