Remembering how we were all once so excited because Cathay Pacific served us ice cream on board..
SIA serves MAGNUM.

Screaming baby - more like 2 year old - behind me. She needs a good smack.

Guy infringing into my space cos he puts his arm on MY arm rest.

No Don 2 on Entertainment set.

Loved the SilverKris articles.. Eyes tired. Too lazy to read up for my meetings. And now I'm too sleepy.. Will leave it for tomorrow. Bet I'll wake up at like 5am anyway.

And just ate my cup noodle so my luggage has more space. Despite the fact that I finished that horrible tandoori chicken wrap at like 7pm Saudi time. It's like 11pm Saudi time now. I'm gonna grow fat.

A little worried about the meetings tomorrow. I hope I know enough...

One Day.
Just watched 'One Day'.. and I feel so sad.
I don't think it was the love story behind it.. but every scene of Edinburgh, the university, Arthur's Seat and the view from up there, Princes Street made me remember how beautiful Edinburgh is and made me realize how much I've fallen in love with the city.
I don't know what it is about the city I love. I mean.. I hate the weather. And I was glad to come back because I missed everyone so much. But I just love it. Crossing South Bridge and peering over at Cowgate and wondering about how this multi-tiered city works. Sipping that rich hot chocolate at Chocolate Soup on wintry days, wintry nights.. Those cobbled pavements. Those buildings darkened with soot from the industrial age. The gloomy sky. Jogging around Arthur's seat. The beautiful swan lake. The gorgeous view from Calton's Hill. The windy secret paths that you somehow chance upon and never find again.
I thought 4 years in one city.. and I'll have had enough of it. But.. it's only been slightly more than a year and I keep thinking about it. I think.. Edinburgh will always have a special place in my heart.

Sitting by the Singapore River, gazing at the Merlion, thinking how peaceful this scene was.
Then, decided to turn on the radio and a cheerful song came on, changing my mood completely...

Amazing what background music does to a still image.

Just finished up some work and feeling kinda lazy to sleep...

What's on my mind now?
1. It's nice to be up alone on a rainy night. I never get this kind of peaceful times anymore. Not since a long time ago in Edinburgh with my Sushi takeaway in my cold cold room. Just me and my duvet.

2. I want to do something. It could be an exercise thing - going for yoga classes or dance classes (I think I'd like the idea of a dance class though I can't really dance) or kickboxing or whatever. But I don't think I'll be very motivated. Or it could be a learning thing - like learning Bahasa or Italian. If it's useful enough, I might push myself to do it. Or it could be a happy music thing - I want to go get me some scores and start building my dreams of being a freelance pianist. I'm not a great pianist but maybe if I master enough cheesy music, people might pay me a little to play that odd piece. What a wonderful thing it would be. Maybe it's not the cash that entices me. Maybe it's the feeling of being able to perform again. I'm not sure. It would be lovely if I could retire and live on playing the piano. I wouldn't mind playing the same pieces over and over again. Because I know for me, everytime I play... it's a different piece. Maybe I should get a new piano...

3. Old and boring. You leave the fun school no-responsibility life. And things happen throughout your life, the experiences add up, they scare you, they make you wary, and you become a cautious boring person, so afraid of doing things wrong you don't do anything at all. I feel that I'm becoming a boring person. Feel like you're not at liberty to do embarrassing things anymore. Feel like 'youth' is no longer an excuse for doing stupid things. Feel like the whole world is judging... because you're a responsible working adult now.

Wow. So much on my mind. No wonder I'm still awake.

I've always been fascinated by India and China ever since a lecture I've had in Edinburgh.Can't remember who it was, or which module it was for. But it was an interesting paper.

Two emerging countries, huge in land mass and population. Usually conflated in discussions. Usually known for its low labour costs, and its burgeoning potential. But so different. In terms of development, of strengths. The question that the lecture inspired in me was: Why is India not as prominent in the global scene as China?

People talk of China as the next rising superpower, of its competition to US. But not India.
India has its strengths. Its people. Its English proficiency. Its amazing IT sector. Its British colonial legacy making it less hard (arguably, compared to China) to work with the West. But.. no, it's China people talk about. Why?

Saw this article on the Economist: Chasing the Dragon, which reinforced this thought. That China is advancing much more rapidly. Is it because China had a headstart? But isn't it begging the question? Why did China have a headstart? Is it the workings of one man (Deng Xiao Ping?)? Will India ever catch up?

This figure shows how far behind India is based on some criteria of development.

PS Just wondering if the title 'Chasing the Dragon' is coincidental, or if it has an intentional allusion to the practice of inhaling opium (very Chinese!). Hm.

Mm.. I should not try to have unhappy posts.
Think about it this way...

By turning to this blog only as a way of venting my frustrations, I will end up documenting all my sad or angry moments, while the happy moments turn to dust.
I don't want to look back and see a backlog of sad posts.

Perhaps I could write down my frustrations in temporary documents, and jot down my happy moments on a more permanent platform. Then one day... when I'm old, I can read my memories.. with the sad ones faded to an illegible blur and the happy ones etched forever :)

Stay optimistic! Think happy thoughts!

There was a period when I was obsessed with taking photos.
I wanted to capture everything in my life,  because I had a poor memory, and because there were so many beautiful memories I wanted to capture before they fade away.

And then... I'm not sure when... I stopped.
It might be when professional photography became the norm. And my silly photos - blurry, low resolution, with a hand cut off and a leg missing, with no concept of composition or colour or lighting, just a simple photo to trigger my memory - my silly photos just became quite inadequate.
It might be when things got a lot tougher... when there weren't quite so many beautiful memories I needed to capture... when in fact there are so many memories I wish I could delete.

It feels kinda sad. But I don't know why. It's just... not the same anymore.

Reading all the lovely food posts (or more like, salivating at the pictures) on Nurul's blog :)
You can read it too here: http://nurulsnomnoms.wordpress.com/

She told me about how she was going to do a picture a day.. to mark her year. And I wanted to do it too. Sort of a visual memory to my year. Because time flies. And memories fade. But somehow I didn't get into the habit and I haven't had a single picture yet. Maybe I'm a procrastinator :) Maybe I should just collect a picture a week of something that has inspired me that week. And by the end of a year, I'll have 52 pictures of inspiring moments... Hmm... I really want something to keep track of the time.. Wouldn't want to realise 5 years down the road that I have no clue what I did in the past 5 years... That will be one scary moment o.0

On Hangover II,

Roger Ebert noted that much of the film "plays like an anti-travelogue paid for by a rival tourist destination—Singapore, maybe.

Wall Street Journal Article, James Hookway
One Night in Bangkok Can Lead to Quite a Hangover for Thailand

Libel? Lol.

 But it is an attribute of the Internet to activate in me, and maybe in all its users, a persistent sense of deferred expectancy, as if that thing that I might be looking for, that I couldn’t name but would know if I saw, were at every moment a finger tap away. 

Sven Birkerts

That explains the hours of staring at a digital screen, waiting for that moment of enlightenment.

There’s so many things that pop up in my head once in a while. Things that I want to share. Or just things that I want to jot down so when I have a bit of free time I could refer back and think about them. And then... when I actually get down to a word processor, they flee. Those thoughts...

Haven’t been able to focus lately...

Reading something on Asian-Americans on New York Magazine...
I think one line sums it up: 

It is a part of the bitter undercurrent of Asian-American life that meritocracy comes to an abrupt end after graduation.

Giving presentations...
Tell yourself you're the expert in what you're presenting
That you know your material best

*Crosses fingers*

Thinking back...
Why is it that everyone only remembers all your bads but forget all your goods?
We live in an unforgiving world.

Wonder why I go home sometimes.

It's so hard to live up to expectations.
Why do we all set expectations for the people around us?

Stepped out and felt the cool breeze on my face and suddenly, everything was all right.
The breeze was only as fresh as city air could ever be, and the surroundings as tranquil as a motor road could ever be. But somehow, that made everything that went wrong go right again.

How strange.

Sometimes there are thoughts that I want to pen down...
But I'm in the midst of eating, or talking, or walking, or working, or playing, and I think: I'll just pen it down later.

Then, it's times like this that I stare at the screen and wonder: What was it?

I don't like to send emails
Cos they make you sound angsty even when you're not.
And when you're truly feeling angsty... It just makes things worse.

I wish I had never embarked on the project.

Been feeling really fat.

At Zouk. All those scantily-clad, skinny girls. There were so many of them. Heavily made-up with heels to kill. Where did they all come from?

At the cheerleading competition today. All those girls with abs. Felt kinda surreal. Surely normal girls don't have muscles like that.

Really feel like doing something about my fats. Ugh.