there's only one thing in my mind.

limelight.raffles (institution x.x) junior college band.not that they were particularly good, rather, the reverse.esplanade.clarinets. the lights. the uniform. mr oura in black suit black bowtie. then mr oura in white suit maroon bowtie.

almost like looking at myself in the past. wondering if anyone in the audience was like us. pointing out how brian's junior looked very red in the face. how the soloist's instrument looks unpolished and unoiled. how the alto sax guy has an annoyingly arrogant face. or the chimes girl has a run in her stockings. or how the weird looking perc guy play the piano shockingly well.

the same uniform. the blazer, the white shirt the black office skirt. strange how the juniors were all wearing stiletto heels when we wore court shoes. strange how i always felt like i looked really smart in the uniform when the juniors look so.. small-insignificant. the uniform isn't much after all.

but seeing mr oura talk to the band, and how the front row clars smiled at his encouragement as he prepares to cue them in reminds me of all the times before a piece when he would say something or make a funny face, the times when i felt really inspired, when the band breathed together as one, or when u sit back during a long rest and listen to the band, or whn your section conquers a particularly tricky part. everything everything makes me want to play again.

except

i think i'll be disappointed at my sound.