There’s so many things that pop up in my head once in a while. Things that I want to share. Or just things that I want to jot down so when I have a bit of free time I could refer back and think about them. And then... when I actually get down to a word processor, they flee. Those thoughts...

Haven’t been able to focus lately...

Reading something on Asian-Americans on New York Magazine...
I think one line sums it up: 

It is a part of the bitter undercurrent of Asian-American life that meritocracy comes to an abrupt end after graduation.

Giving presentations...
Tell yourself you're the expert in what you're presenting
That you know your material best

*Crosses fingers*

Thinking back...
Why is it that everyone only remembers all your bads but forget all your goods?
We live in an unforgiving world.

Wonder why I go home sometimes.

It's so hard to live up to expectations.
Why do we all set expectations for the people around us?

Stepped out and felt the cool breeze on my face and suddenly, everything was all right.
The breeze was only as fresh as city air could ever be, and the surroundings as tranquil as a motor road could ever be. But somehow, that made everything that went wrong go right again.

How strange.

Sometimes there are thoughts that I want to pen down...
But I'm in the midst of eating, or talking, or walking, or working, or playing, and I think: I'll just pen it down later.

Then, it's times like this that I stare at the screen and wonder: What was it?

I don't like to send emails
Cos they make you sound angsty even when you're not.
And when you're truly feeling angsty... It just makes things worse.

I wish I had never embarked on the project.

Been feeling really fat.

At Zouk. All those scantily-clad, skinny girls. There were so many of them. Heavily made-up with heels to kill. Where did they all come from?

At the cheerleading competition today. All those girls with abs. Felt kinda surreal. Surely normal girls don't have muscles like that.

Really feel like doing something about my fats. Ugh.

Miss student life so much.

Trying to get myself away from Facebook so I won't say anything I regret. But this is a really trying time for me. I want to scream out to everyone but we live in a world where complaining isn't allowed. I just wish I could sleep. I'm so tired. I really am.

D&D was a blast!

Norman's a cool geek.

Jialin's a part-time goth make-up artist.

Lionel's a closet crazy dancer.

Shivya's an emo 'part of the Addam's family'.

And Shirley is a wacky merlion.

None of it made sense, but that's what so awesome about it. Hur hur.

Met a fortune-teller today.

He told me
That I was a happy person.
That I like new things.
That I have no stamina.
That I was going to get married at twenty...five
(although I have many choices)
That I have many skills and many interests so I need to focus on developing just one.
That my thoughts tend to wander...
(That I have too many thoughts)
And I just really need to focus


Focus, focus, focus.

"It's today!" said Piglet.
"My favorite day," said Pooh.


(Taken from here)

I really like reading abt the latest studies...

Reading abt how since bored drivers are 1.5 times as likely to get into an accident as engaged drivers, researchers suggest making roads more challenging to 'increase driver's focus'
Reading abt how those who walk faster were 90% more likely to live at least 10 years more.

Aren't research findings pretty incredible sometimes?

89.7% of peoPle in the US describe their diet as healthy. Close to two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

Taken from Time mag, 17 Jan issue, pg 9.

(I should really do something abt my referencing methods)

To quote Richard Stengal in the 24th Jan issue of Newsweek,
"Mere advocacy" of any doctrine, however violent, does not violate the First Amendment. And that makes sense. Words don't kill people; guns do. In an open and free society, we don't police speech, but we do police those who violate the law by committing violent acts.

Hm seems to make sense, but doesn't seem to be an accurate portrayal of the US.

Back to the Spain trip with the girls...
So.. Spain is populated with architectural legacies by Gaudi. I think this might be Casa Battlo but I honestly can't remember. It's been half a year ago...

But I know this is the Sagrada Familia (although a pretty ugly picture of it)

The next day, we went to Plaza Catalunya to catch the hop-on bus, which was a walking distance away from our accom! This time, we walked in the right direction (with the help of the map).

And... I thought it was interesting that people were all playing chess there. Sort of reminiscent of the Singapore Ah Peks playing Chinese Chess at random stone tables at the parks. Sort of.

Didn't manage to capture ANY nice photos of Mont Juic. Mainly cos my camera has terrible zooming function. And cos I refused to stand up on the hop-on bus being comfortably seated. Very, I might add. And cos there were a million other tourists standing up in front of me and blocking my view. I had quite a sharp photo but someone's blue-and-white striped SLEEVE was in it. But the view was gorgeous from up there, and unlike the last time I went, we didn't have to walk all the way down after taking the funicular up. I think we went to Port Olimpic after that - but I'm not about to bet on it.

It was unbelieavably gorgeous. And my camera REALLY doesn't do it credit. It does help that the rain stopped. But here goes: The unfortunate red thing at the side is the bus. Yes I took ALL my pictures from the bus. Lazy me.

We went to Barri Gotic after but I only have like one picture of it. It was like walking into the past, the narrow cobbled pavements, the archaic sculptures... and yes the rain made it rather atmospheric. Does the arch not remind you of the Bridge of Sighs at Cambridge?

I despair of ever finishing my trip in Spain, but since this day in Barcelona has ended. I will end my post.

Haven't been sleeping well.
Waking up at weird times and just feeling really tired when I wake up.

Plus, I had this horrifying dream that
I accidentally killed my sis, and everyone was chasing me. And I had to escape via a window. Full of running and adrenaline. Hiding at the corners, trying not to be spotted, paranoid that someone's gonna suddenly pop up and catch me. And I bumped into a friend who asked me to join in a game. And I had to pretend I wasn't running away from something, while looking over my shoulders to make sure my pursuers haven't caught up.

I was glad when I woke up. It was a dream with an overwhelming sense of doom, the feeling that everything is going wrong, and is going to get worse, and the whole world.. the whole wide world is crashing down on you.. the feeling that nothing is ever going to be right again. And that maybe it's easier if you just let yourself get caught, face whatever punishment and get it over with.